A Wonderful Woman and Mother!

I created this video for my wonderful wife to show her how much she means to me, my children as well as her friends.  She is so amazing. She is the joy of my life.  I could not imagine living without her.  She is my everything.  She makes every blessing come true for me.  She is my support and my rock. She is my strength and she is my joy! She is so much fun. She is also close to the Lord and helps me to be better.

I spent some time creating this video and felt so much emotion in creating it. It was my hope that she would feel the same feelings that I felt as I created it. We watched it as a family Friday night and she just sobbed. She watched it like 4 more times that night and I have caught her watching it several more times this weekend. It makes me feel so good to know that she got the message that she means everything to our family and especially to me.

Here are some pics I could not fit into the video:

Sanctity and Sacrifice

S Augustine says:" The visible sacrifice is the sacrament - that is, the visible sign - of the invisible sacrifice" 

Our invisible sacrifices are our humility, our broken hearts, our repentance, our adoration and our acts of love in behalf of our Lord Jesus Christ. Often see the effects of these sacrifices on the faces of those who participate in the sacred ordinances of the gospel.

Strengthening the Family

My talk is about strengthening families

"The family is ordained of God. It is the most important unit in time and in eternity.

We started as families in the premortal or pre earth life when we lived with God as spirits before we were born. " Handbook of Instructions

It is not by coincidence that the same organization, namely families, that existed before we came to earth is the same unit we are born into in this life. Even though families are sometimes not ideal or conventional it is the circumstances we were given so that we might gain the experiences we need to live by faith.  Our father knows each of his children. He has chosen the time and place for us to learn the lessons we personally need  to do the most good with our individual talents and personalities. I am so grateful that it is not by circumstance but by design that God teaches us through each others lives and our own experiences. Sometimes our experiences are not always ideal but I love this quote. God’s will is what we would choose if we knew all the facts.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for agood to them that love God.

We must keep the perspective that God is teaching us and refining us through all our trials.  He has said that there is no witness until after the trial of your faith. And this is never more relevant than within the walls of our own home.

Our Heavenly Fathers plan is made possible through families.

The first commandment was to multiply and replenish the earth and remains in force. By divine design, both a man and a woman are essential for bringing up children and providing the best setting for rearing and nurturing children.

So a family should first begin with marriage.

Therefore shall a aman leave his bfather and his mother, and shall ccleave unto his dwife: and they shall be eone flesh.

"The nature of male and female spirits is such that they complete each other. Cleave means to be completely devoted and faithful to someone. Married couples cleave to God and to one another by serving  and loving each other and by keeping covenants and complete fidelity. "

I would ask you to think about how well you are doing to cleave unto one another in your marriage. Elder Perry in a WWLT counseled to discuss with your spouse how much time you need to spend together  to strengthen your marriage and to demonstrate your love for one another.

In the Handbook of instructions is states that married couples establish their marriage as the first priority in their lives  They allow no other person or interest to have greater priority in their lives. Nonetheless they continue to love  and support parents and siblings, while focusing on their own families. Wise parents realize that their family responsibilities continue throughout life in a spirit of love and encouragement.

So how do you manage with all of the other responsibilities of your lives that must be done to make marriage the first priority?  John Rosemond a noted author and psychologist made his marriage first in his life.  When he would get home he and his wife would ignore the kids for a half hour to talk, review the day they had and to connect. When we put god and the marriage first in our lives marriage partners can then draw strength from one another to handle all the other drama’s of life.

Couples must work together, pray and worship together, sacrifice together and teach their children together. They must be united so that the family can be united.

Married couples should never demean one another and should be reluctant to correct one another especially in front of the children. It is ok to work out differences but when we scold one another we show that we are ununified and it diminish’s the role of parent to the children.

Marriage partners should never be critical of a spouse to another person especially children. Sometimes I have heard about conversation where women get together and bash their husbands. I know that we are imperfect but there is nothing good that can come from saying something critical of another unless it is in the spirit of how to help that person. If your brother has ought against you then go be reconciled to him as the scripture say. That means go and talk to the person that has offended you not your friends and associates.

Married couples should spend time together each day and each week renewing their relationship. Friday night is typically date night. If you are not taking your spouse out, do so. Even if you are an old married couple I am sure you need the time to to have fun together, to laugh and to talk. My wife beamed at a simple date that I took her out on this summer. I took a blanket, went to a park and we played scrabble. It was simple and fun and created a wonderful memory.

We have a journal. We take turns writing love letters in the journal. When we write a love letter in it we hide in a place where the other will find it. It could be under a pillow, in sock draw. He hope that someday our children will have this as a treasure and remember how much we moved one another.

Elder Perry at a Bishops training stated that if every man opened the car door for his wife when she go into and out of the car and made sure that he was the last one in the car it would change the feeling of the marriage and of the stake. in Alma 37:6 it says by small and simple things are great things brought to pass and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.  Your wife may be wise and confounded by your new found attempts to be kind to her.

Please make your marriage your number one priority. I promise that if you do your life will be happier, you will be able to deal with stress and trials more effectively and your children will learn from your example and be happy. So important is example.

I asked my children one day what they thought daddy loved more than anything in the world.  Their answer was, “Mommy”.

Our Father in Heaven prepared a plan for his children.

As part of Heavenly Fathers plan he has instructed us to marry and to multiply and replenish the earth.

President Hinckley:

"We must work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it."

Elder Perry said "consider the spiritual needs of your children. How much time do you need to spend with each one of them to be close to them?"  He also said that the most important instruction children will ever receive should come from parents.

Be cheerful, helpful and considerate of others. Many problems is the home are caused because families speak and act selfishly or unkindly. Concern yourself with the needs of your family members. Be a peacemaker. Involve your family as much as your can in your church service.

See every moment as a potential teaching opportunity with your children. When they quarrel take the time, be patient and help them to see how kindness and cooperation work. Share from the scripture examples of the things you are trying to teach. Avoid lecturing. Try to say it in as few words as possible.

Read to your children. Fathers and Mothers. Here is an entry from my journal.

Last night Chloe, Nathan and I read from some childrens books. The first was about the Prophet Joseph Smith and the second was about Abinadi. I was able to liken the scripture to these little ones I think in a powerful way. Nathan when we is reprimanded for something always says "your mean". I told him that King Noah and his preist were mad at Abinidi because abinidi was telling them what they should do. I told them it was like they were saying" your mean! and throw a big fit" I alsked him if he knew anyone like that. He said he didn't at first. Then I asked him if he knew of anyone in our family like that. He said yes. Then I joked with him and I said I think Nathan is like that huh? He shook his head yes.

I thought it had an impact.

Please have meaningful daily  scripture study and prayer and your weekly family home evenings. This is an essential time that families need to teach children the gospel and to keep them close. These are the protections that our Father has told us to put up in these last days to protect us from the evil in the world.

One of my children will always state this during scripture reading or family home evening. “ I have a questions”. What a blessing to have a child who asks questions. Some of do not have as an inquisitive child and you may need to pull the questions out that you think they might ask and ask them. Gospel discussions will strengthen testimony and prepare our families against satan.

Guard your home from evil forces. They will try to enter your home through TV, radio, and internet. You must be wise and protect your family.

The proclamation on the family states:

WE WARN … that those who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

David O Mckay said that no success can compensate for failure in the home.

Sacrifice, Love and Atonement

Because of Him

John 3:16

The greatest selfless act ever done for mankind and for us individually was that God gave his only begotten son and that Jesus willing sacrificed himself for our sin. It was, is and will remain the greatest act of love.

All selfless acts are acts of love. As we serve and sacrifice for others in ways that will bless them we demonstrate our love for them.

Being selfless is sacrificing our own will for someone or something. Christ demonstrated this  before he offered himself as a sacrifice for our sin in the garden of Gethsemane.

In Luke 22 we read.

39 ¶And he came out, and went, as he was awont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed him.

40 And when he was at the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into atemptation.

41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,

42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, aremove this cup from me: nevertheless not my bwill, but thine, be done.

The savior did not want to endure the pain and suffering of the atonement if it were possible that there was some other way. There was not, and He partook and finished his preparations unto the children of men by saying “nevertheless not my will, but thine be done.

There are times in our own lives that we must accept the Lord’s will and not our own when asked to pass through trials and temptations. for example

Sometimes when we have been wronged it is hard to accept the Lord’s will and not our own and obey the commandment to forgive all men. Yet the savior demonstrated ultimate forgiveness when he hung on the cross and said “ Forgive them father for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

Sometimes it is hard not to murmur or complain and accept the Lord’s will and not our own when we are given hard trials or tasks. Yet we know that “Although in agony he hung no a murmuring word escaped his tongue” (Hymn 191 “Behold the Great Redeemer Died)

Sometimes it is hard to accept the Lord’s will and not our own when we are persecuted or when people are angry at us. It is hard to turn the other cheek The savior's example can give us strength “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he aopened not his mouth; he is brought as a blamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth.(Mosiah 14:7)

Sometimes it is hard to accept the Lord’s will and not our own when we have seemingly been denied blessings because of circumstances or limitations not of our own doing. But if we except the Lord’s will and endure it well we will not be denied any blessing because He paid the price and was given all power and was made to sit on the right hand of God.. He will make us whole both body and spirit.as it says in Alma 11:43,  “The spirit and the body shall be areunited again in its bperfect form; (Alma 11:43)

In the Old Testament before the new covenant was solemnized by the infinite and eternal sacrifice of the Savior Jesus Christ, sacrifice of the flocks and the fruits of the field were required for forgiveness of sins as a demonstration of faith that the messiah would come.

In the Book of Mormon we read the new conditions for sacrifice once Christ had come:

19 And ye shall offer up unto me ano more the shedding of blood; yea, your sacrifices and your burnt offerings shall be done away, for I will accept none of your sacrifices and your burnt offerings.

20 And ye shall offer for a asacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I bbaptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost…

Dallin H Oaks.

The incomprehensible suffering of Jesus Christ ended sacrifice by the shedding of blood, but it did not end the importance of sacrifice in the gospel plan….

Our Savior requires us to continue to offer sacrifices, but the sacrifices He now commands are that we “offer for a sacrifice unto [Him] a broken heart and a contrite spirit”

Brothers and Sisters what is a broken heart?

A broken heart comes in a couple of ways. First we have to understand that God Loves us. It comes by knowing that we are lost without the Savior because of sin. And it comes from understanding through the spirit that Christ suffered for us, in place of us actually, so that we would not have to suffer if we would repent. Christ paid the price. We are redeemed through His blood by faith on His name. Understanding these things and accepting them changes us. We are born again and become new.

We continue to have a broken heart as we are molded and shaped as the potters clay through repentance. This life is a process of becoming all that we can become through repentance. We make mistakes and will continue to make mistakes. As our hearts break because of those mistakes we commit to overcome them and become more obedient and rejoice in the Savior’s atonement.  We have a whole lifetime to grow and develop and overcome our mistakes. The more we embrace repentance and improve through faith and obedience the more we become like God and the more joy and peace we experience in this life. We must always remember as President Zelnick said in stake conference” He Loves us despite our weaknesses and faults”.

Broken hearts lead to contrite spirits. A contrite spirit is a spirit of humility and of meekness.

Having a broken heart and being renewed through repentance is the rebirth that Christ talks about to Nicodemus in Chapter 3 of John. It can only be understood and discerned by the spirit and is a gift. The gift comes because of our willingness to hear the word of God.

I have been struck by the words in the sacrament prayers that we are to eat and drink in remembrance of the body and Blood of Jesus Christ. I hope that we never partake of the sacrament lightly. Before I eat and drink the emblems of Christ I remember the words “in remembrance of” and am immediately humbled and my heart is made broken remembering why he did it. First because he loved me and second because I am weak and fall short in so many ways.

The sacrament is a time to remember. To remember Christ, to evaluate our relationship with Him by examining ourselves.

1st Corinthians 11:

27 Wherefore whosoever shall eat this abread, and drink this cup of the Lord, bunworthily, shall cbe dguilty of the body and blood of the Lord.

28 But let a man aexamine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.

29 For he that eateth and drinketh aunworthily, eateth and drinketh bdamnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.

30 For this cause many are weak and asickly among you, and many sleep.

If we utilize the sacrament worthily it will heal us and strengthen us.

The sacrament is a time to remember our covenants and our keeping of them through repentance, obedience, sacrifice and love. If we are humble the spirit will teach us those things we need to work on throughout the week so that we can improve and be refined as we exercise our faith and become a little more like Him each time. The sacrament if taken properly is part of the pattern of making weak things become strong.

Ether Chapter 12

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them theiraweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them.

Paul spoke of the thorn in his side and asked the Lord to remove it. The Lord responded.

9...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, inpersecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

The sacrament becomes the altar where we offer up our broken heart and contrite spirit. Our acts of obedience, service, repentance and sacrifice of time, talents and everything that we are blessed with become our offering. The sacrament is the renewing of all our covenants.

The covenants are not just about doing what God wants us to do. He is teaching us through those covenants to love. God is love and we are to become like him which means we are to become full of love. When we accept His will, Become selfless through sacrifice and obedience, Repent and partake of the sacrament in the proper spirit we cannot help but be filled with love. Love for God and love for others.

Keeping and renewing the covenants purifies us. To paraphrase President Eyring in the last ensign article we know when we are being purified because we have an increased desire to serve others and the savior. Home teaching and visiting teaching become more of a joy than a chore… You find yourself eager to serve your children and show them how to serve others.

As we are obedient, sacrifice, repent we find it easier to consecrate ourselves to the Lord. Consecrate  means to dedicate to a sacred purpose. The Guide to the scriptures defines consecration this way:

“The law of consecration is a divine principle whereby men and women voluntarily dedicate their time, talents, and material wealth to the establishment and building up of God’s kingdom.”

A consecrated person serves faithfully in the church, they pay tithes and offerings, they fulfill assignments in the church and magnify callings. They are not casually engaged but anxiously engaged in a good causes. They seek to share the gospel. They make family life a gospel centered life by ensuring that they have family home evening, family scripture study and family prayer. They strive to live my every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God. We all fall short but we must strive in every way to consecrate ourselves to the Lord.

I would like to end by sharing a story about why we sacrifice, repent and are obedient. It is somewhat of a parable of the savior given by president Hinckley. Think of yourself as little Jim and Big Tom as the savior.

There was a one room school house in the mountains of Virginia where boys were so rough no teacher had been able to handle them.

“Then one day an inexperienced young teacher applied. He was told that every teacher had received an awful beating, but the teacher accepted the risk. The first day of school the teacher asked the boys to establish their own rules and the penalty for breaking the rules. The class came up with 10 rules, which were written on the blackboard. Then the teacher asked, ‘What shall we do with one who breaks the rules?’

“‘Beat him across the back ten times without his coat on,’ came the response.

“A day or so later, … the lunch of a big student, named Tom, was stolen. ‘The thief was located—a little hungry fellow, about ten years old.’

“As Little Jim came up to take his licking, he pleaded to keep his coat on. ‘Take your coat off,’ the teacher said. ‘You helped make the rules!’

“The boy took off the coat. He had no shirt and revealed a bony little crippled body. As the teacher hesitated with the rod, Big Tom jumped to his feet and volunteered to take the boy’s licking.

“‘Very well, there is a certain law that one can become a substitute for another. Are you all agreed?’ the teacher asked.

“After five strokes across Tom’s back, the rod broke. The class was sobbing. ‘Little Jim had reached up and caught Tom with both arms around his neck. “Tom, I’m sorry that I stole your lunch, but I was awful hungry. Tom, I will love you till I die for taking my licking for me! Yes, I will love you forever!”’” 8

President Hinckley then quoted Isaiah:

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. …

“… He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” 9

As we more fully understand what Christ went through for each of us and the whole world and always remember him and strive in every way to do his will and not our own all the other things will fall into place. We will have joy, peace, and feel His presence in our lives. This is my promise to you. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.